Let It Out

Halfway Through The Year.

2009-07-05T06:44:00.000-07:00

June has come and gone.

and PMR is getting closer....

i really should be studying....but i'm not....

anyway, lets recap what i did during June...

1. i had another debate competition. for two days. this time it was at KDU college. KDUDA. :] it rocked!

Damansara Jaya 4 vs. Catholic High School 2

John, Kevin, Sophia and Keefe.

Keefe's...er..pout?..and i.

Making new friends all the way.

But never forgetting the old ones. :]

2. it also happened to be my sisters birthday on the first day and my bothers on the second...coincidence much?

well, as you can see my June wasn't very productive....

and July has just begun!

what better way to begin it then with

CHEER 2009!

10th Anniversary!

hehe.

it was really awesome.the competition was stiff this year.if you're interested in watching some of the videos i took of the top 15 teams you can find them on youtube. xD. 'remixeddj' is my channel. go check it out.

Red Hot Night: The Last Masquerade!

2009-06-14T02:28:00.000-07:00

the very much awaited event>>>

Red Hot Night: The Last Masquerade.

(has come and gone)

the event took off at like 8.00pm and we started with Joe and I, as the emcees, doing a short introduction. Then we had an icebreaker. we had dinner after that and then we had another game and then we had a really really really awesome speech by Mr. Joshua Lee. after that we kinnda wrapped it up by mingling with each other. but it was an awesome event!

im sure everyone had fun and well done to all the ChristClan members!

WELLDONE!!!

UNsatisfied

2009-05-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

i have all i could ever need...

i have my basic needs, i have a great family, i have friends, i have a great school life filled with extracurricular activities and slightly above average results...but somethings missing...why do i feel so unsatisfied?

my friends: you could call them that...or you could call them aquaintences...cuz thats probably what they are. i am surrounded by all these people and not to boast but i am relatively popular in school. but im not happy. far from it actually. because all my friends ever do is take, take and TAKE.

i dont get anything back. i spend hour on the phone with them smoothing over their troubles and soothing their ruffled feathers but what do they offer me when i come to them crying?? an 'Don't worry, its nothing la..' its not in the least helping and i cant let anybnody know because when i do they call me selfish. hah!

ill tell you what i do when i come back from school. 7am-6pm, im out at school. i come back shower and straight away i get calls from people scolding me for not answering sooner because apparently they have a HUGE problem...then they ask my advise, get whatever reassurance they need then hang up with hardly a word of thanks...

to them okay so what just 1 hour right she can spend it for me, im her friend...but guess what try doing that for 4-5 people a day, after getting back from a 11 hour day at school? yeah its exhausting! but does anybody care? no...im so tired of beng used but i cant stop they just keep coming back and taking without replenishing the source that one day i swear im going to bleed dry....no wonder im unsatisfied with my life....i dont have one! its rulled by all my 'friends' that need me to fix theirs...

dont get me wrong i love helping them. but theres a reason why people are selfish in this world and its so they can actually get somewhere and acheive something in their lives but the one time i try to do something for my self i get called mean and selfish and self-centered. why dont you try being in my shoes!!! i feel used and the worst part is that my 'friends' only call :

a) if they need something
b) when they need me to do something for them
c) when they have a problem and need me to fix it
d) when their bored

i am NOT an entertainment center! i have a life! or would like to have one! I'm NOT a second best, second choice person! im not around when you need me just so that you can discard me later person. and i would like to be asked how i am now and then instead of being expected to fawn over and be so interested in what this friend did or what that friend ate for dinner....

they are all good people...but they just dont realise they're not the only one who asks me for these things...i feel like a full-time therapist, without the pay....day after day i let my life pass by me, and day after day i fear i will one day sink into depression...why? because im unsatisfied. thats why. unsatisfied with everything in my life...and i dont evven have the will to help myself. ...i dont know how....

2009-05-14T03:36:00.000-07:00

exams are coming...

but thats not important. haha okay maybe it is, but heres some more interesting stuff....

1. last sunday was mother's day right? well, guess what i made my mum....yes, you're right!! clay earings. XD

i know its not that nice but its the thought that counts...

2. i was looking through some stuff and i found a couple of my baby photos. with my sister...haha ain't we cute?

3. i got promoted to naib-pengerusi or assistent monitor this week...:] and i got my debater tag :)

so as you can see all's well at the moment, well except for the tiny fact that exams are coming...but look at it this way, holidays are right after....haha and so is Red Hot Night!!! :]

Red Hot Night countdown : 23 days

Happy Birthday To You!

2009-05-10T07:47:00.002-07:00

The Desserts...

on Saturday we celebrated my aunts birthday at the Zing restaurant, we had dim sum buffet and everything was amazinggggg. we ordered a birthday cake that was similar to Priscilla's :]

and we had lots of fun...haha

My mum and my aunt

The cake

group photo

---Red Hot Night countdown: 27 days

you need to think one ah?

2009-05-08T03:08:00.000-07:00

doesn't he look cute?

woohoo!!!!i'm finally done with my movie!!!!

what movie you ask? well, the school library is having this movie making competition and well a group of us joined. it has been really stressful and tiring and ive been so busy with the shooting and editing, but you know what?

it was worth it!

it has been great fun and im more than satisfied with it. yeah yeah when you actually see it it might not be that great. but you try shooting a movie within a week....as the director xD, i just wanted to shout out, great job guys! so...

GREATJOBGUYS!!!

im gonna start something here...

Red Hot Night Countdown: 29 days

hehe :]

haha funneeeey...

2009-05-05T07:13:00.000-07:00

last Sunday, i went to church with my family.

it just so happened that that week we were teaching the younger ones about Noah's ark. So we helped them

fold paper boats that were really cute. and the kids were so delighted with them and started playing with

them and 'sailing' them under the tables...:)

ah, the simple joys of 5 year olds

*****just a reminder guys: Red Hot Night :~ The Last Masquerade is a-coming. Let me

know if ya wanna come!

***********************

anyway, today i went out to dinner with a couple of family friends.

we ordered this pork dish that was really really good and came served in a bread basket...

i was cutting the bread when it went off balance and i actually flung some food into my brother's face...xD haha

sorry Adrian!.

The culprit :D

Ladies Night Out

2009-05-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

well, last night was the well, last night, of just us ladies in da house.

(the males went to Australia for a holiday.)

So, to past the time we women decided to treate ourselves to a heavenly dinner, at Danielli's, Sheraton Imperial. :]

the food was amaziiinnnnggg!!! haha...i went with my mum and my aunt, my sister had a birthday party....it was a really nice dinner regardless.

THANKYOUMUM! :]

freshly baked garlic and plain bread.

charcoal oven baked pizzas

my aunt, my mum and me.

Funny Facts:

Did you know that you have to sign in a form if you wanna take away any food?...its so they're not liable if you happen to get food poisoning...haha :]

Not even hotels are immune to todays slang language and spelling...lol

HEHE

One passion, One family.

2009-04-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

Six days. wake up, debate, sleep. wake up, Debate, Sleep!...

six days of non-stop debating....

welcome to IIUM

8th interschool Debating Championships!

where we had to wake up at 6, leave school by 7, start by 8, debate the whole day and reach home by 12. BUT its also where you have one of the best debating experiences around.

definitely gonna join next year. :]

im not sure what our ranking is but both teams from our school made it to the double octo finals, where we lost....haha but instead of being sad we got high in the classroom and started taking pictures... we also made loads of friends and met a few of the old ones. (and found a future someone for Siew) haha :]...i wonder when we're gonna tell her...Abhilaash are we ever gonna tell her??? lol :]

anyway, here's the much awaited for pictures, help yourself Soph...

Smk Damansara Jaya Debaters!

Team A

Team B

POI sir!

One Passion, One Family...:]

I don't regret joining the debate team and i never will. Being with the other debaters from our school and the other schools around Malaysia, has been an amazing experience. i've learnt a lot of things that school can't even begin to teach me. and im glad i got to experience this. there were up and downs and a whole lot of stress but i wouldn't trade in the last six days for anything.

I became closer to people whom i only knew by face in school and it showed me how isolated i've been in my little group of friends. now, im glad my eyes have been opened and I've gained a few more valuable allies in the rough journey of life. i may have only begun to get to know you but im glad we've already taken the first step.

Thanks for making this experience beyond what i could've ever imagined.
-Siew Sanz, for always being there for me.
-Elena, for being my joke buddy.
-Sophia, for giving us hope.
-Leannza, for being aggressive.
-Abhilaash, for being another of my joke buddies.
-Marc, for being so scientific.
-Daniel, for getting delirious with high fever.
-Timothy, for being the 'hulk'.
-John and Pn. Angie, for being there every step of the way.
like i said, One Passion made us One Family.

My day was filled with....

2009-04-22T05:25:00.000-07:00

" their case line fell faster than a strapless bra." - Keefe Chan, SMKDJ Senior Debater.

haha...yup, you guessed it! Debate!!!

today i had my first practise meet and it was funny and scary at the same time...:]
but i still cant wait for IIUM (it's this saturday)...though im nowhere near ready...how do you get ready for a debate...???

i remembered thinking that theres a reason most debaters are in higher classes....have you any idea how much they know? ...haha genious in our presence...

anyway, i have tuition tomorrow! yay! :] but there's no geo...lol

TUITION....

2009-04-21T04:50:00.000-07:00

tuition was actually fun today...eventhough i only went for the last 50 minutes of it...XD

bryan and i were not concentrating at all..and we got caught by our geo teacher...he's scary...but

before he caught us managed to sneak in a couple of pictures xD...courtesy of Bryan of course....i

wouldnt dare....

Our Geo Teacher....

The Infamous Duo

I Didn't write it...

Confessions of a lovesick teenage boy... :]

The Finals!!!!

2009-04-21T04:17:00.000-07:00

Well, i was in Lane 11 with a girl named Syarifah Needa who is in the same school as Grace Lee whom i met in MSSD lontar peluru. Goon May and Jie Qi were in Lane 12, right next to us and Talisa was in Lane 9...

anyway we went early to get in some practise but i found out i couldnt lift the ball because i had SPRAINED my thumb yesterday...i really didnt think it was that serious... but yeah i couldnt lift the ball and i freaked out..but i found my life saver AZRI HAZIQ haha who gave me some panadol....:] so i felt much better....

well, technically i didnt feel anything.... haha

so i managed to bowl and i actually manage to do better than yesterday! lol i should sprain my thumb more often...yeah so i got into the TOP 8! which would normally mean that i would get to go to MSSS but i couldnt because this year they decided to only send one team so only the top 4 got to go....:(

but it was a great experience and i made loads of new friends like Siti Diana and Farah Natasha from Smk Sri Aman...:]

SMK Damansara Jaya Bowling Team '09

Our awesome teacher: Pn Zalillah :]

2009-04-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO!!!

haha to day is probably one of the happiest days of my life! :)
because :
a) i got into the bowling MSSD finals xD (i dont think i can get to MSSS but who cares haha) and the finals are tomorrow at 1 utama again...

b) straight after the competition i had to rush back to school for my interschool debate team selections...and yes you guessed it. I GOT IN!!! i'm sooooo happy! haha but im kinda scared for the competitions.... :]

okay okay....calming down....haha

anyway on saturday Wafa and I went to Italianness with Priscilla to celebrate her Birthday....Then later we went to priscilla's house, where Chloe joined us, for her birthday cake and she had this really really REALLY cool cake haha....
here are the pictures....

This were th heavenly Stuffed Mushrooms...xD

This was the absolutely delicious pepperoni pizza...:]

the REALLY cool cake...

my amazing photography skills of the said Really cool cake...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRIS!!! (again)...

thanks for the cake!!! its AWESOME!!!

Put The Blame On Me...

2009-04-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

I'm close to my family, of course we do have our occasional fights, but you know that its only healthy...
lately, my dad has been stressed up and like a pipe waiting to blow, he does...and i get the blame. true enough my mum gets most of the blame, but she works i don't. my relief from the hurtful things he says is in school. my school is the only place where i can hide or forget my fear of his next explosion...

He doesn't beat me or abuse me in any physical sense, which i can at least be greatful for. but the verbal i have to endure is becoming an almost daily occurence. and i cant tell anybody...i wish i could tell my friends but i told my mum and she said not to take it to heart. but when you hear things like "I wasted my life for you", "I have a daughter as a failure", "Youre wasting your life, you'll never become anything useful" and "You're an embarrassment and dissapointment to the family." its hard NOT to take it to heart.

I understand that my dad is angry and stressed and wants to take it out on someone. but why is it me? i have an elder sister but she never gets the shelling or the blame. i have younger brothers but obviously he never blames them...am i such a failure that the only thing im useful for is to release stress? i hate to even think that i'm useless...but after being told it for so long...you start to think its true..

I wish i could shout back at him, or make him feel at least a little guilty.. because i noe its not my fault i didnt do anything..yes maybe i should spend more time studying but im never good enough. i wanted to take up performing arts he said dont be stupid. i wanted to become a doctor he said you'll never have time for your family. i cooked him dinner once and instead of being grateful he yelled at me and said do you think cooking is going to help you get an 'A'.

It seems with him im never good enough...he always wants me to be like my sister, she didnt get straight a's but she had good results and for all that "good results" she didnt have a social life at all....she never went out with friends hated make up and shopping and spent most of her time wth her nose in her book AND she still didnt get straight A's. is that what he wants me to be like?

I feel so mad inside that when i was cooking i was this close to slicing the arteries under my skin. but of course common sense prevailed...why does he have to take it out on me? he swears at me and yells insults and makes me feel low.. and all this comes from my own FATHER...do i admit the aura of a victim here? cuz he's not the only one that likes to blame things on me...my life sucks sometimes....and no one understands it at all....

2009-03-30T00:14:00.000-07:00

LIFE IS PRECIOUS...

I dedicate this post to Enrique.

people dont really realise how precious and special life really is. not until someone close to them leaves...and by then its too late..let them know how you feel about them. seize the day. this may sound like a cheesy message but sometimes those are the messages that mean the most...we miss you Enrique.

Put Down

2009-03-28T22:09:00.000-07:00

Today will be the first day of your new life...but then again so was yesterday.

we tell ourselves that today we will start anew. do what we havent done before, be a better person. then as soon as the day begins we dont change a thing about ourselves...when night falls we promise to ourselves that tomorrow we will change and it becomes a vicious cycle that we cant break... ever heard the saying 'tomorrow never comes'. yeah. its true. so stop procrastinating.

i'm not sure if this has anything to do with what i wrote up there but who cares.
today i went somewhere to help someone and ended up getting scolded and Put Down. you may be angry but take a second to reflect. do you think that the person trying to help you would go through so much trouble to purposely screw up? no, i dont think so. its was an accident. accidents happen, no one is perfect. but instead of going 'hey, man. thanks for coming and helping. you did a great job.' you instead say 'what the hell do you think youre doing?! cant you tell the difference between the two? argh!!' and storm off.

how do you think you would make that person feel. ill tell you how. Screwed up, useless, guilty, angry, sad, worthless, annoyed at himself and with you, ashamed, embarrassed, and defeated. all that just because you were feeling a little frustrated.it just doesnt make sense.its a totally inconsiderate and selfish way to act. but okay maybe the guy did screw up and he already feels pretty bad and yes it was his fault for messing things up. does it make things any better by rubbing it in his face?

you know what bullies do? they put people down. they pick on their weaknesses , their mistakes and magnify them until its all that person sees in himself, until it consumes them and makes them believe what the bullies say...youre just one person and you believe the guy needs a little telling off. but think for a minute, what if everyone else felt the same? in the end the guy would end up being scolded by so many people that he would feel like a totallly useless freak...and all for what so you can vent a little frustration and feel a little better about yourselves.

Thought for the day guys: think is it worth it to risk hurting a person psychologically forever for a moments self satisfaction? you dont have to agree with my views. we're all entitled to our own opinions. all im asking is that you think first befre you act. when you find yourself in this situation what would you do?